Things That I Used To Value, But No Longer Do.

Changing Values In Bjj

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Things That I Used To Value, But No Longer Do.

When I started Jiu-Jitsu at the age of thirty, I really didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t done much in terms of organized sports and was looking for something. As inactive and sedentary as I was, I really needed to get something going to change certain aspects of me.

While I didn’t go in desperate for Jiu-Jitsu to change me, I was naive early on and trusted based on what Martial Arts generally represented in movies.

With that being said, many of my values early on no longer exist within me fourteen years in.

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A Tapped In Episode You Might Like

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Winning Every Roll

I have a deep competitive drive. I love the act of sparring, whether that’s on the mats or verbally. Early on, if I remember correctly, I had to remind myself that there were times that I needed to dial it back. I will admit that some of that was panic, but I wanted to win the rounds and it took me a bit to understand that winning wasn’t the point in the training room.

Once I understood that these rounds were more about learning than winning, that’s when I started to have my biggest gains.

Jiu-Jitsu became more of a cooperative exercise than a competitive one.

Idolizing Higher Belts

For those of us who came up in the eighties, we watched our share of Martial Arts movies. So as I jumped into Jiu-Jitsu, I had a deep reverence for the instructors, belts, and tradition.

As time went by and I got to peak behind the curtain, my view changed.

I started to understand that while I could respect the belt and what it takes to get to any rank, the human that wore it was something else altogether. I ran into terrible humans with Black Belts strapped to their waists.

You can say that perhaps I’ve become a bit jaded and you might be right. But I refuse to call people Master, Grandmaster, and even bristle against the title of professor.

Caring About Lineage

Jiu-Jitsu has this weird fascination with someone’s lineage. The quality of your belt is somehow weighed against the person who awarded it to you. While I understand the premise, it’s flawed if your comparison or guide is a big name in Jiu-Jitsu.

I for example am not a big name, but I’m known for being an excellent instructor and technical practitioner. The majority of us will never be Jiu-Jitsu celebrities, but that does not mean that our Jiu-Jitsu can’t be of high quality.

Not to mention, that some of these big name Jiu-Jitsu instructors are questionable human beings, to put it nicely. I rarely mention my lineage out of a degree of embarrassment for who my instructor turned out to be.

So, overall, lineage mean very little to me.

Blind Loyalty

The quicker you take off the rose colored glasses, the healthier your view of the Jiu-Jitsu landscape that you’re in will be. It’s tough to admit for many of us, but some of the gyms that we’re currently at are not healthy for us or anyone else.

We stick around out of loyalty or fear of being labeled disloyal.

I’ll admit, that was me at one point. I knew better but I also hoped that things would change and get better. Unfortunately, it never did.

If a given situation does not benefit you, is harmful to you, or does not grow along with you, you do not need to be loyalty to it.

Final Thoughts

I’m sure there are things that I may have missed, but these come to mind right away. Would love to hear from some of the readers on what you no longer value now that you’ve been in the sport with some experience under your belt.

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Thank you for reading.

David Figueroa-Martinez
Founder, DFM Coaching Bjj
Coach | Writer | Grappler

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DFM Coaching is dedicated to helping you overcome mental hurdles and achieve your full potential in BJJ. Whether through in-person instruction, seminars, private lessons, remote coaching, or video analysis, I provide personalized support tailored to your needs. Keep pushing forward, and let’s grow together!