Being A Willing Participant
Stop Accepting Bad Positions
One of the challenges that I find for some students is finding the ability to assert themselves during sparring. While this is not specific to any one group, I find it most often in kids and women. As someone who’s gone through his own share of trauma as a kid, I think that for women it’s tied to two main things. Social norms that equate femininity with the act of being docile or submissive. The other being self worth issues stemming from trauma.
Regardless of the reason, sometimes getting someone who’s on the less assertive side to become more imposing can be difficult. I’ve had several students like this.
When I was teaching kids, I had to weigh the idea of pushing a kid to be more aggressive versus allowing him to just be himself. With that example in mind, I often errored on the side of not altering the student as long as they understood and could execute the technique.
With adults, I’m a bit more pushy, I guess.
Not in a rude way, but I will have a conversation with them. I have had several students like this but my most recent encounter comes to mind. She’s incredibly sweet, has gone through her share of issues and is in the process of rebuilding.
I’ve watched her grow, but I recently decided to push her a little further along. I sent her an I.M. and mentioned that I wanted to give her some homework. She listened and accepted. The goal was to become more aggressive. I wanted her to impose herself more when she rolled. She can sometimes be too nice or be late to the party.
Since challenging her, I rolled with her about a week or so later and felt a noticeable change. Her grips for example were far stronger and she exacted them far earlier than before. I’m really excited to see where she takes this in the next few months.
Some things to keep in mind:
Maintain strong base and posture: Whether standing or in guard, focus on keeping a solid, balanced base and upright posture. Spread your weight evenly, engage your core, and ensure your knees are aligned for stability, which makes it harder for your opponent to off-balance you.
Stay active with grips and frames: Use your hands to establish grips and frames that disrupt your opponent's ability to execute a sweep. Effective grip fighting and frame placement can help you control their movement, making it more difficult for them to initiate sweeps or advance position.
Anticipate and adjust early: Pay attention to your opponent’s movements and anticipate their attempts to sweep or improve position. Subtle shifts in weight or hip movement are signals to adjust your own posture or base, often preventing the sweep before it fully develops.
This is all a building process. No one expects students to have it all figured out or even to be in a rush to do so. But as an instructor, I will gently guide you down that path because I know that it will bleed over into your personal life.
DFM Coaching is dedicated to helping you overcome mental hurdles and achieve your full potential in BJJ. Whether through in-person instruction, seminars, private lessons, remote coaching, or video analysis, I provide personalized support tailored to your needs. Keep pushing forward, and let’s grow together!